Every midlife crisis should come with a nervous breakdown... (Scott)

T minus 11 days, and panic has set in. Since Joanie doesn't want to hear about anything about it, I figure that the internet is as better place as any to have a little cry.

I'm just back from two weeks in New Zealand for work and the poor old Vespa is still in the paint shop, probably back on Wednesday... Aaarrggghhhh. The longest run I have been on has been 35 miles of round town stuff, I have to do at least an 80 mile trip on open roads to see if the scooter will actually last that long at cruising speed, and that all my clothes etc are comfy enough, I want this to be fun, not a trial, to add to this I am super busy at work, and trying to pretend to my family that I am a good husband/dad, so 3 hours out of the time I have left seems like a luxury/waste, but a shake-down cruise is a necessity. Especially after the little bugger has been sitting for three weeks.

My coat has a big hole in the elbow from being knocked off. The model is out of production, which is a pain, so I have to find another brand which is plain enough for a 38 year old, and in a size big enough to go round me. And I like my old coat.

My tool collection is painfully weak. I was in the shed yesterday, and everything seems to be for fixing computers, or doing painting, not scooters. Must upgrade to some proper stuff, but to what budget (money and storage size) should I go for, where does overkill start. I found this good website http://www.vespamaintenance.com/tools.html so will take the lot excluding torque wrench. I am also worried about the first 90 miles to Harwich, especially with a time constraint, I have to be there by 10:30pm at the very very latest, what time do I leave London? If I get a flat tyre, how long does it take to change it? If I break the clutch cable can I ride it OK in 3rd. If I break something else like the cruiciform, how will I get it to the ferry? I am going to leave central London at 4:30pm, so allowing 6 hours for 80 miles is 13mph on average. Though would like to get there in daylight. Maybe 3:30pm is better. Must take some WD40 as well, seems to fix anything!

Luggage, Tim is now worried that the racks won't arrive in time. I am now petrified that the racks won't arrive in time, and the type of bags I buy are dependant on what carrying devices I have... and no racks = backpack and small bag across back of scooter, which means less stuff than I was going to take before. Which means after taking a MacBook Pro, SLR, extra lense and flash, there will be no room what so ever. When on the Westway and hitting indicated 55mph (indicated 30mph is 26 according to the local radar gun, I'm assuming that 55 is about 48/49 in the real world) the backpack seems to be pulling me backwards, as the wind comes over my shoulders, So was hoping to have everything strapped to the scooter. Oh well, we'll make a plan.

The first Euro ride is a long one, 163 miles, and we have to make it there before 5pm, after docking at 8am. I always find the first couple of hours driving on the wrong side of the road requiring loads of concentration, which is tiring, so would like to have a break at least every hour, even for just a few minutes of stretching and de-numbing my arse. We have been talking about communications and navigation (talk about scooter-nerds) Tim is taking his TomTom, but will be stashed. I have an iPhone with maps, but you have to stop to check things, which adds to time. I think that writing the route on the tool box with a whiteboard pen might be a good idea. If something happens we can phone each other, but you can't hear a phone at speed. Do I just wear my hands free head phones? I had planned on earplugs. Do we use the 1000m range walkies we use for work on voice sensing.... what happens if Tim starts to sing? What happens if I start to talk to myself (I think I do it sometimes on the scooter!)

Is two stroke oil cheaper in Holland? Do they have two stroke in Holland, should I take it all? I work out it's 1.3l ish for 1000miles, the reservoir is 1.5 litres.

How the hell are we going to find the Dusseldorf train station while grumpy and tired after slogging across Holland?

This list of questions is about fifty long, such a good idea at the time... the reality is petrifying though.

Can't wait to ride the Vespa again, that will settle my nerves/push me over the edge.