Planning the route (Tim)

In the early days of our discussions (2 weeks ago) it was simply case of getting up early one morning, riding down to Dover, getting a ferry and then riding down through France and long the Mediterranean sea front until we got to Sestri Levanti on the Italian Riviera.  It sounded so easy and the idea of pottering along sun-dappled, tree lined avenues with a baguette strapped across the back of the saddle was a compelling one.
However after my first 'big' trip down to see my mum last weekend, it quickly became apparent that my 20 year old Vespa isn't the zippy thing that the modern twist-and-go's that kept zooming past me appear to be.  I'm rather embarrassed to say that my 110 mile journey took me nearly 5 hours!  In my defense it was very windy and I was being cautious with my newly conditioned engine etc etc but nevertheless it did make me wonder about just how many days it would take to ride 800 miles to this conference.

By my calculation; at an average of 25mph (my god, is that all i averaged last week??!!), 800 miles would take 32 hours of riding, and based on the fact that I was knackered after 5 hours a dont think I could face more than that per day, this would be a 6 day journey there for a 6 day conference followed by a 6 day journey back - 18 days in all.  Now I have a very understanding and lovely wife, and I am sure she wouldn't miss me at all during this time, but I think she would be very concerned about me not earning any money during this time - in fact not only would I not be earning, but I would be spending - on hotels, food and JD&cokes. 
I could see that Scott and my big ideas were looking a little too ambitious.

However, we are trained problem solvers, and we aren't easily dissuaded when faced with an obstacle.  Our real dream was to ride our scooters in the warm sunshine, so the real question was about how we might get the scooters down to Italy as quickly as possible without killing ourselves in the process?  And of course the Autorail was obvious answer - Scoot down to Paris, pick up the over nighter to Nice, ride along the sea front from Nice to Sestri.  We agreed this was the best idea we'd had yet, and recruited my aforementioned understanding and lovely wife to do all the messy logistics of ferry and autorail bookings.
It turns out though while Autorail welcomes motorbikes http://www.railsavers.com/motorbike%20corner.html - it doesnt necessarily welcome scooters!  On investigation, we discovered that Autorail say that scooters are 'too light' to secure safely and consequently dont allow them on their service (i think they go on open transporters so are exposed to the wind).  Now I would like to explore this a bit further with them - what is their definition of a 'scooter'? and have they ever felt the weight of a Vespa PX?  but alas its all a bit complicated when you dont speak the language of the booking agent - and so an (another) alternative route had to be found...... again

And this time it came in the form of an overnight sleeper train - The AUTOZUG (www.dbautozug.de ) from Dusseldorf to Balzan - I phoned them directly to check if they accepted 'scooters' but had to wait for an English speaking operator to phone me back to confirm that they did (though again we didnt agree on our definition of 'scooter' - Im assuming the Germans dont have 1Tonne scooters)

So for 673 euros, Scott and I have got ourselves a train and 'couchette' to get us from Dusseldorf to Balzan, and return via Alessandria to Dusseldorf.  This will save us many miles of slogging across the damp Alps, give us somewhere to sleep for the night (along with 3 other people in our 5 person couchette?) there and back.
We've spent money now.  We are committed.  Just need a channel crossing now